Wanting, needing, hoping
by turtleteapot
Summary: Bruce finds a possible solution to his Hulk-problem, but the means to achieve his goal seem very unethical at first. Eventual Science Boyfriends fic. Rating my go up with later chapters.
1. Prologue

_Okay so this is my first attempt at a Science Boyfriends fic and I have no idea if it's any good so I'm just publishing the prologue for now to see if you guys like it. If you think it has potential, please just R&R and I might continue with the first chapter soon. _

**Prologue**

„Bruce, why didn't you tell me? This is amazing. Heck, this might actually work. You found the key!"

Bruce let out one of his typical snorts. He didn't need words to convey his emotions, not with Tony who seemed to be able to read him like an open book. Softly shaking his head, the scientist opened a second file and put it on the screen in front of his friend with a slide of his finger.

"It's not the key, Tony. I agree, it would be possible to reduce some of the troubles I have, but the consequences wouldn't be all that pretty. Besides, it would be unethical. I can't do this. I'll have to find another way." Bruce avoided Tony's eyes. He could feel his gaze piercing through him, obviously looking for answers to the countless questions he must have, but not finding any. Pointing at the screen, the physicist tried to bring his friend's attention back to the file.

"Well Big Guy, seems like our definitions of unethical are a tad bit different. As far as I see, this is the closest to a cure you've ever come. I mean, this protein really would stop the muscle growth. Basically that would mean you'd just go green and a little smash-happy but you'd no longer be dangerous, right? Isn't this what you wanted? Isn't this what you hoped for when you asked me for the funds for your research?"

Bruce sighed. When had looking directly into Tony's eyes become so painful? He avoided his friends gaze, and instead took of his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was so hard talking about all this. It had actually taken him months to find the courage to ask Stark for the funds and equipment to do his research but his friend just completely ignored his effort and brushed it off as if giving him millions was nothing. Bruce had never been one to find it easy to put his thoughts and emotions to words. Even a proper thank you was difficult to handle when you were overwhelmed with gratitude and fairly sure you deserved none of this generosity. He and Tony were so alike at times, and then again profoundly different. Two sides of the same coin, as the inventor so eloquently put it once.

"The protein can only be produced inside of a living, breathing human, as you very well know. And in order for it to work with my very specific condition we can't use just any human either. Do I really have to spell this out for you, Tony? We both know exactly what this means so please, tell me again how this is not unethical and pretty much impossible." The physicist wasn't annoyed. Tony Stark had yet to find a way to really tick him off, but his friend did know how to push his buttons, he had to grant him that. He just wondered how far his friend would go this time.

"So what's wrong with that? You basically just need a genetically engineered clone of your sweet ass and you got your cure. It's pretty simple, really. Besides, you always wanted kids, you told me that yourself. You'd be a good dad too, I know that. You'd just have to test this formula a little more, find a surrogate mother for your cure-producing clone-baby and live the rest of your life without any incidents and doing science with me. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?"

"Sure, me being the single parent of my own genetically altered clone-baby is a brilliant idea. Really Tony, you're a genius but you're doing a great job hiding that at the moment."

Okay, ouch, that hurt. Bruce felt awful as soon as the words left his mouth but they were out now and he couldn't take them back. To his great surprise though, Tony just grinned and put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. The physicist was glad for having a mind that could somehow simultaneously think about complicated equations and formulas, the next thing to say to his friend and marvel at how strangely pleasant it felt to be so close to his best friend. He was pretty sure that Tony Stark's presence alone was enough to shut off the brains of most other people. At least that's what he'd expect given the inventor's natural charm and charisma.

"You know, Brucy-boy, you're pretty darn cute when you're all out of your comfort zone. There's no need for all the snark and your rather pathetic attempt to trash talk though, I'm with you on this, okay? No matter what you decide to do with that genius brain of yours, I'll help you."

Bruce was at a loss of words. He really wanted to hug this magnificent, wonderful bastard next to him. He didn't have the slightest idea how he deserved a friend like Tony Stark, but instead of telling him this, he just smiled his little half-smile, stared awkwardly at the screen in front of him and played with his glasses to somehow keep his fingers busy.

_Thanks for reading, guys. In case it isn't clear, this is going to be a kid fic because for once, I want Bruce to get what he wants…even though it's not easy. _


	2. Selfdeception

**Chapter 1. Self-deception**

Bruce told himself Tony was wrong. He really wasn't running again…or fleeing, as his friend had put it. It was different this time, even though nobody acknowledged it. He'd actually told Stark where he was going and he even accepted the generous gift of a new Stark laptop to be able to stay in contact. Heck, he even replied to Tony's emails every now and then.

No, he really wasn't running. Bruce had just gotten a little restless in New York. His past was haunting him and every destroyed and eventually rebuilt building was a monument of the uncontrollable, destructive force inside of him. He just had to get out of there, to do whatever he could to redeem himself, to somehow make his cursed existence worth living. So he left for Somalia, traded a comfortable life for poverty and constant danger. It felt right though, it felt like he was finally on the right path again.

His work here was bloody. He delivered babies, performed abortions and amputations, and tried his best to save what wasn't beyond saving yet. He didn't feel good (he almost never did), but he felt alive. Every night he would just pass out rather than fall asleep and his nights would be dreamless, just the way he wanted them to be. Life was working for him and his mind was clear and undisturbed by confusing thoughts about a certain billionaire.

Bruce really didn't know why he couldn't get Tony Stark out of his head. They were just friends…best friends, okay…but still. He also never had thought about any man like this before. It was not like his sudden bisexuality bothered him, it was just an unexpected and rather confusing surprise. He should probably blame it on the science. Finding your intellectual equal obviously could do strange things to man and his heart.

After a particularly long day he spent giving children polio vaccinations, trying to save the lives of two girls with blood poisoning and delivering three babies (two of them died), Bruce wanted nothing more than returning to his old, shabby hut, which was still somehow the most comfortable place in the whole village. Still, he had something else planned for tonight. It was Thursday and Thursday was Tony-day now, which meant Bruce would walk 3 miles to the nearest MSF treatment center where they actually had Wi-Fi. Even though he didn't officially work with MSF, he was still allowed to use their facilities because their chief physician was an old friend and knew who he really was. To everyone else he was Bobby Richards, an eccentric, reclusive guy who was a better doctor than the rest of them but not a good team player. They left him alone and he could easily stay away from problems that brought out the other guy.

It was pretty late when he finally arrived and checked his mails. Most other people were already in their quarters and he pretty much had a whole room to himself. He wasn't exactly surprised to find out he had a new email but that didn't change anything about the warm smile spreading on his face.

_Bruce,_

_How's it going down there? The photo of you with that boy is pretty cute. Nice tan you got there, big guy. Things here are pretty dull. Pepper wants me to go to this stupid gala with her but things between us are a bit awkward since we broke up. We're good though. Nothing to worry about. It's not like I needed a friend when she left me. Definitely not.  
So are you tired of the desert yet? I know you're being a hero and saving kids and all but come on! I know for a fact that you miss Candyland. There's no way you're happy without all the equipment I got here in Stark Tower. You're a scientist, Brucey, don't waste your talents. You and I together could cure world hunger within a year! Isn't that what you want, helping people? Think of all the good we could do together! All you need to do is come home first. Not that hard, is it?  
On a side note, I worked on this formula of yours. I could use your help so I attached some files. Just look at them, add your two cents and send them back. I still think this is the best solution to your green problem, especially because it wouldn't get rid of him. You know, I like the big guy. I was thinking about a name for your clone baby. What about Tony? Tony is a good name for a genius baby boy, don't you think? We can raise him together and by the time he's 18 he'll be the most brilliant man on the planet. Pepps says I'm delusional but you're with me on this, right? _

_Anyway, don't let me wait a week for your reply again. I'm not used to be kept waiting. _

_- Tony_

_PS.: I won't beg but goddamnit Bruce, just come home already! Everybody here's missing you like crazy. The team's not complete without you. _

Bruce sighed. It was almost physically painful to imagine what Tony must've gone through after he and Pepper broke up. He was so sorry for him, even though a small part of him actually cheered because Stark was single now and maybe…just maybe…  
He shook his head. There was no point in thinking about something as unlikely as him and Tony Stark together. He wasn't even sure if he should want this. After all, his friend was quite famous for being a playboy and for losing interest in his acquaintances pretty fast and Bruce didn't want to lose the friendship they had. It was probably for the best to focus on something else now.

Bruce didn't look at the screen in front of him as his nimble fingers danced lightly over the keyboard, he kept his eyes fixed on the window to his left, staring up into the clear night sky, devoid of all the light pollution usually found in big cities.

_Tony,_

_I'm sorry about you and Pepper. _

_- Bruce_

He clicked the send-button. The physicist could've written so much more, had so many things on his mind, but somehow it seemed impossible for him to find the right words. There really wasn't much he could say to make the situation any better. Running his long fingers through his hair, he let out a soft groan and made up his mind to grab a quick shower here where they had running water, before returning home to his hut to call it a day.

He was about to shut the laptop down when he received another email from his friend.

Do you enjoy being a giant fucking douchebag?

_I opened up my fucking HEART to you Banner and the last thing I need is for you to feel sorry for me. You've been in _Wherethefuck-istan_ for 3 months now and you ignore all of my pleas for you to come back and be the friend you said you were. Do you want me to beg? Do you seriously want me to get on my knees and beg for you to get your ass back home? Really Banner, I thought you'd be different. I thought you'd care. I guess I was wrong._

Bruce bit his lip. His hands trembled slightly as he took off his glasses and massaged his temples. He thought he should probably be sad or furious or at least show any kind of violent reaction but he just felt numb. The last thing he ever wanted was to hurt his friend. He started writing the reply without even paying attention to which keys his fingers hit. His mind was too busy trying to find a way out of this quandary. He had told himself he left New York to help people again, but this was only half the truth. The other one was that he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to leave again if he stayed any longer with Tony. He couldn't afford attaching himself too much to people or places, it would only make losing them so much harder when he destroyed everything again.

He stared at his reply on the screen in front of him for a while before hitting the send-button.

_Tony,_

_I'm sorry, I really am. Please forgive me, I never meant to hurt you. I really am an awful friend and you deserve better than me, but please understand that returning is not easy. New York is not the right place for me. The time we spent together was pretty much the best of my life and I couldn't stand repeating my past mistakes. I destroyed everything and when I stay in one place for too long I will destroy everything again. It's inevitable, Tony. I'm sorry. _

Bruce received Tony's next email only a heartbeat later.

_Fuck you Banner_

Apparently Bruce wasn't even worth using punctuation marks anymore. The scientist chuckled softly before shutting down his laptop and putting it into his backpack. Tony had other friends to go to. He didn't need him. He'd get over their friendship just like he'd get over Pepper, Bruce was certain. It was easier this way. Okay so he had hurt his best friend, but the billionaire would survive this kind of pain. He wasn't so sure if he'd survive a punch of the other guy though. New York really was no place for Bruce Banner. Nor was Somalia, for that matter, but he didn't plan on staying here long anyway. Next week, he decided, he'd take a plane to either Brazil or Thailand.

For a while, Bruce just sat there in the empty room, the only light coming from the stars outside now that the laptop was turned off again.

The laptop. From Tony.

Taking a deep breath, he got it out of his backpack again and started taking it apart bit by bit before he completely destroyed the individual parts of the laptop until it was reduced to a pile of scrap.

Smiling softly to himself, he left to finally take that well-deserved shower.


	3. With or without you

_Alright guys, here's chapter two. It's a whole lot longer than I expected but I didn't want to split this into two parts. I hope you like where this is going. Your favs and reviews mean a lot to me. I love every single one of you! _

**Chapter 2. With or without you**

Tony repeatedly told himself that he didn't have a problem that he was perfectly fine and only drank so much because it helped him concentrate on his work. This was complete and utter bullshit of course, and he really couldn't fool anyone, least of all himself, but sometimes it was just easier to live with a lie. In all honesty though, he was a wreck. He hadn't been himself since the breakup with Pepper even though it was mutual and they were still friends. It was being alone that destroyed him, not having anyone to keep him company. Sure, there were always people around when Tony Stark called, but he couldn't care less about them. What he needed was a true friend, but the best he ever had, the only one who really seemed to get him, was rotting somewhere in Africa being a colossal douchebag. He always thought they were so alike but he couldn't, for the love of god and everything science and holy, understand why Bruce fucking Banner would rather spend his time in some remote place of the Earth than with him in Stark Tower where he could have everything he ever wanted. Tony could be generous with his friends. He would make Bruce's every wish come true just because he liked seeing this sad face light up with a smile but this idiot just HAD to throw it all away.

He could still remember the day Bruce left for Africa. Tony had looked into his friend's doe eyes, so very much like his own, but when the physicist said his goodbyes, his own reflection in them was a storm cloud. There was a lot of yelling involved on his side and maybe he even threw a glass or two and there is a small possibility he actually begged his friend to stay, but it was all of no use. In the end, Bruce had looked so tiny and vulnerable, shoulders crumpled and eyes fixed on some random spot in the distance, and then he just smiled his weak little half-smile and left.

Before he had known Bruce, Tony had been perfectly content just working alone or with his robots and JARVIS as his assistants, but now that just wasn't enough anymore. He missed working side by side with his friend, missed the conversations that always came so easy with him, and their private jokes or the way Bruce's body was always so hot, even in the sterile chilliness of the labs, while his own seemed cold as a stone.

It was almost embarrassing to admit, but Tony Stark really was a mess without his friend. It was not long after Bruce left that problems with Pepper started to arise. In the end, they decided to end their relationship. It was not because they didn't love each other, this really was never the problem, they just knew that they couldn't make each other happy and were better for each other as friends. From then on, his life deteriorated even faster. He locked himself up in his lab even more than before, drunk more than he thought was humanly possible and was cranky 24/7. Pepper made him see a therapist, but when the damn shrink asked him if he'd finally come to terms with his blatant crush on his best friend in their fourth session, Tony left the room and would never hear about seeing a psychiatrist again.

Things with the other Avengers weren't that great either. Thor was back in Asgard, Clint and Natasha were both on a mission and he and Steve could just never decide whether to be friends or mortal enemies. Also, as of late, Spangles seemed to spend more and more time with Pepps and Tony really wasn't sure if he should approve. Usually everything that made Pepper happy was in his book of things that must obviously be great (he himself was on the cover AND the front page of this book, and yeah, he actually printed it) but with Steve, things were just a tad bit difficult.

So when, almost two months after that fatal last email-conversation with Bruce, he was asked to deliver a speech on clean energy and his breakthrough ideas and whatnot in Bangladesh, he was actually quite happy to oblige as it would give him something new to focus on and also would be a nice change of scene for once.

Upon arriving in Dhaka, the first thing Tony noticed stepping out of his jet, was how everyone seemed to try to hide the city's blatant poverty and overpopulation from him. It was no use, really. Tony Stark always did his homework and even though he knew how promising Bangladesh's future was, there were still a whole lot of problems to overcome first.

He stayed in a rather posh hotel, alone – Pepper had to remain in New York to work on the business plan for the next year – and he was more bored than ever before in his life. JARVIS suggested preparing for the speech but Tony knew he was brilliant enough to do it all off the cut. He would use the same powerpoint slides he had last time and only asked the AI to change the design and the date. There really was not much for him to do. His room was all white and black elegance and the huge TV actually looked like a piece of art, but it didn't interest him in the slightest. Sighing, he leaned his forehead against the cool window pane and looked down at the busy streets of Dhaka. His hot breath clouded the glass but he didn't mind all that much. The sky outside was dark and overcast with clouds. It would rain soon, and not for the first time this day, Tony found himself thinking of Bruce.

His scientist friend (could he still call him a friend?) would probably be in a similar place like this one. The inventor was fairly sure Bruce had left Somalia even though he had no real way of proving his suspicion since the other man had definitely learned his lesson. Tony had installed a tracking system in the laptop he gave him as a farewell-present; not to monitor him but to make sure he'd find him should he get in trouble. Minutes after his last email, however, the signal stopped working which meant that Bruce must've destroyed the laptop. There also weren't any records of a Dr. Banner using any kind of credit card or requesting visas. No matter where he was, he must be using fake documents and many different aliases, and it was not unlikely that he also changed his appearance as much as possible. For a split second Tony wondered if Bruce would watch the TV broadcast of his speech but then it occurred to him that his fellow scientist probably didn't even have access to a TV where he was.

The next day, the day of his speech, brought rain and thunderstorms and everyone seemed to be on edge. It was hot, the air was humid and Tony almost felt like breathing water as he ascended the lectern that stood on a raised pavilion where everyone could see him but he'd still be protected from the weather. Hundreds of eyes were fixed on him but it was not like Tony to feel nervous. He was sweating, yes, but only the heat was to blame for that and the bright grin on his face showed no sign of uncomfortableness. He delivered the speech like the pro he was, and judging from the awe in the faces of his audience, he did a damn fine job. Pepper would be proud. Most of the people gathered here before him seemed to be business men-and women, scientists and a few students…and of course journalists. All of them were dressed in fancy clothes, protecting them from the rain with what seemed to him, from his position, like a sea of umbrellas. Because of this, he spotted the one man wearing a plain and tattered old rain cloak rather easily. His gaze only brushed over the man for a few seconds. He couldn't make out his face as he stood too far away from the lectern, but Tony's thrice cursed brain immediately thought of Bruce and it almost felt like a thorn twisting in his side. "Don't be stupid, Stark. There's no way this could be him!" he kept thinking to himself as he replied to a question by one of the scientists in the audience. When he looked again, the man in the rain cloak was gone. Grinding his teeth, the billionaire told himself his mind probably just played tricks on him.

He was nearly finished with his speech when all hell broke loose. There was an explosion, people screaming and smoke filling his lungs and then a horrible cracking-sound followed by pain. Tony had no idea what happened, he was barely conscious but he did realize that the pavilion had collapsed and he was trapped under a fallen beam now. His head hurt and touching the back of it, he felt the warm stickiness of blood. Through all the smoke it was hard to see what was happening. It was clear that nobody would come to help him though, and in the dizziness of his mind, the billionaire realized with shock that he wouldn't be able to call the suit for protection, being trapped like this.

Whoever did this, whoever planned this attack, was definitely successful. There was no way for Tony to get out of this all by himself and it seemed like all his people, all his bodyguards, had left him in panic, or even worse, betrayed him. He was utterly alone.

"So this…", he thought to himself, and not for the first time in his life, "…this is how I die."

There was fire and smoke all around him. He could still hear people scream, but he just didn't care anymore. Tony just wanted to close his eyes. He wasn't hurt all that badly, probably just had a few bruises, scratches and a concussion, but being trapped like this meant that whatever was out there would actually get him. The inventor was all out of aces and when he saw a slim, tall woman step out of the smoke, pointing a gun at him, he even smiled.

"I want you to understand, Mr. Stark that this execution is nothing personal. It's the economy, you know. We're all ruthless sharks and you've been eating the biggest fish for far too long." The woman's voice was like a knife wrapped in velvet but as Tony looked up into her eyes, he witnessed how her smug expression changed to surprise as a loud roar rose above all other sounds, and then to terror as a huge, green hand grabbed her and crushed her skull.

The inventor almost couldn't believe his eyes. There, right before his eyes, stood the Hulk, the remains of the rain cloak he'd seen before, still hanging from his enormous shoulders. The beast roared again, but as Tony looked into those dark, green eyes, he was sure he could see something of Banner in them.

Somebody opened fire, shooting at the Hulk with machine guns, but it didn't seem to have any other effect on the beast than to mildly annoy it. His big, green friend lifted the beam trapping Tony like it didn't weigh more than a chopstick, and instantly used his own body to shield the billionaire from the gun fire.

"You really are always there to save me in the last second, huh big guy?"

"Hulk always protect only friend! Always!"

Tony felt himself being lifted and pressed against Hulk's chest like he was just a little child, and then the monster started running, moving a bit like a gorilla at first until he gained more speed. People were still shooting and Stark could hear police sirens all around them. There was nothing that could stop the Hulk though, and he was moving with a speed nobody would've expected of him.

There was no place to hide though. Dhaka, being an insanely overpopulated city, had no places for a gigantic, green rage monster and an injured billionaire to take cover, and wherever they ran, both the police and military were already waiting for them, obviously thinking that it was the Hulk who started the attack and not some crazy assassins.

"No! No no nononononono NO! You can't be serious! Don't go all King Kong on me, big guy! I'm so not Ann Darrow. Don't do this to me!" Tony begged as the beast, finding no other way out, started climbing a huge skyscraper. He could see the panicked faces of the people inside the building, heard the glass of the windows shatter under the Hulk's strong fingers and prayed for this whole situation not to get any worse.

There was a helicopter somewhere above them, and a voice shouting at the beast to let go of Stark and give up, but this wasn't any more effective than the shooting. By the time Hulk reached the tenth floor, he shattered yet another window and tossed Tony inside the building, obviously not really knowing how to be gentle with a friend.

"Tony safe now!"

With these words, the monster left. The inventor just watched helplessly as Hulk jumped back down on the streets, creating a huge crater as his weight hit the asphalt, and fled as fast as possible with the police and military still following him.

Sinking to his knees and clutching the wound on the back of his head, Tony just stared out of the broken window. He no longer noticed the pain or his whole body trembled. People were swarming around him, talking to him in Bengali and English, touching his body and checking him for injuries. Eventually he was brought back down to the streets where an ambulance already waited for him and put a blanket around his shoulders. It all happened insanely fast but felt it was in slow motion. Somebody was asking him questions but he didn't pay enough attention to even know how to reply. All his dizzy mind could really focus on was that Bruce, or rather his alter ego, was still out there, hunted, and all on his own. Bruce…who really always was there to rescue his sorry ass.

Somebody shone a tiny flashlight into his eyes and Tony blinked and turned his face away. He hardly noticed being taken to the nearest hospital or the young Bengali doctor treating his wounds. He felt like he was in a trance and then, somewhere between swallowing down painkillers and being brought into his own, private room in the clinic, he just passed out.

Tony got out of the hospital on the next day and surprised his PA with his plans to stay in Dhaka for at least another day. Everyone had expected him to leave for New York as soon as possible, given that he barely survived an assassination attempt and lost half of his bodyguards in the attack while the other half, probably the traitors, just mysteriously disappeared. The public still believed all of this was the Hulks fault, but Tony had told Pepper what really happened right after waking up again and she'd promised him to set things right as soon as possible and sent Happy so he'd have somebody around he could really trust. Apparently Fury and SHIELD were already searching for Dr. Banner, but Tony Stark had every intention of finding him before they did. This, of course, was the true reason for his prolonged stay in Dhaka. Bruce would need every help he could get now and the inventor wouldn't let him fall into the hands of people who only thought of him as a mindless killing machine.

Tony blatantly ignored the doctor's advice to stay in bed and rest and spent the whole day after the attack trying to find his fellow scientist. In the end though, it was Bruce who found him and not the other way round.

"Sir? I have a call waiting for you. You said not to put any calls through to you unless they're from Miss Potts but I believe this particular call would make the search easier. It appears as if Dr. Banner has found you." JARVIS informed him as Tony was checking out the police reports on the happenings of the previous day.

"Bruce? Damnit, JARVIS, put him through already!"

And then Bruce's voice filled the room and Tony felt his heart flutter and he knew this certainly wasn't the appropriate reaction to hearing your best friend again after what felt like an eternity but his mind was too focused on other things to really care right now.

"Tony? Tony I'm sorry to bother you. Please believe me, I know I don't deserve your help after everything that happened but I'm not sure I can do this on my own. They're out there looking for me and it was hard enough to find some new clothes and I don't know how many people I killed and please…please…I really need your help. You're the only one I can trust right now. Please…"

"You stop right there, big guy! Just tell me where you are and I come get you, okay?"

Bruce told him, and half an hour later, Tony found his friend in a dark back alley, huddled against a pile of cardboard boxes and looking like a mess. His glasses were nowhere to be found, his hair even unrulier than usual and his clothes, a dirty t-shirt and torn cargo shorts with an ugly, dark stain on the side, and his skin was covered in dust, grime and something that was probably blood.

"Gee Banner, what the heck happened to you?" Tony asked, crouching down next to his friend and looking into his lidded eyes.

"Saving your ass, turning into a huge, green rage monster, being chased by the entire Bengali military, killing people, destroying a huge part of the city, waking up butt-ass naked, trying to steal clothes and…most of all…life."

Tony could almost physically feel the bitterness in Bruce's voice and suddenly nothing of what happened between them before mattered anymore. Taking a deep breath, the billionaire pulled his friend into a tight hug but immediately let go again when his hand touched the dark, wet stain on Bruce's shorts. "What the -? Blood? Bruce you…?"

"I was shot. When I stole the clothes. Only a grazing shot though, nothing serious. Sorry for bothering you but I'm not sure I can get far on my own and hiding is kind of hard when you bleed like a skewered pig."

"Listen Bruce, we'll talk about everything later, okay? For now, just tell me if you can walk. Not far, the car's waiting for us just around the corner. I'll carry you if you can't get up…like the pretty princess you are."

Bruce's tired face was lit up by his grin and this was exactly what Tony was hoping to see, what he had missed all these past months.

"Says the man who's the damsel in distress more often than not." The physicist replied, trying to push himself up to his feet and actually succeeding with the help of his friend. They both laughed then and the teasing continued on their way back to the car. It almost was as if these months away from each other never happened. Tony helped Bruce into the passenger's seat, not caring if any blood got onto the expensive leather, and then took his own place behind the wheel. He knew he shouldn't be driving in his condition, having a concussion and all, but he didn't trust any of his people anymore and he had JARVIS as his personal KITT should anything happen.

They drove back to the hotel in silence, mainly because Bruce more or less passed out as soon as he leaned his head against the window, but he woke up again as soon as Tony stopped the car and helped him out of it. People stared at them but this wasn't exactly surprising since a billionaire taking a dirty, injured man to his hotel room wasn't exactly something they saw every day. Still, the hardness in Stark's eyes silenced every question before it was even asked and they eventually arrived in his room without any disturbances. Bruce, being the considerate bastard he was, sat down on the floor instead of the bed, apparently not wanting to get dirt and blood on the expensive, white sheets, but Tony only rolled his eyes at him.

"You gotta be kidding me, Banner. Get yourself onto the bed and take your pants off. I'll have a look at the wound and call a doctor. The same guy who treated me…he's good and I think we can trust him."

"Nah Tony, I'm not in the mood for getting naked for you. Just…just get me a first aid kit and something to clean the wound with and I'm good." Bruce smiled awkwardly, trying to hide the signs of pain on his face and obviously still refusing to get up again and onto the bed.

"Listen big guy, you know me I'm all for joking and shit and I really hate being the reasonable one of us, but just stop this and let me help you, okay?"

Finally, _finally_ Bruce crawled onto the bed then and just collapsed there, probably too weak to talk back and so Tony sat down beside him and tried to push the pant leg up a bit to see the wound. Unfortunately it wouldn't go up far enough to expose the whole wound so he just pulled down the shorts, which were two sizes too big for his friend anyway and –FUCK of course the guy just HAD to go commando.

"You really want to get me naked, huh?"

"I didn't…I honestly…I"

"Stark, I had to steal these clothes. Did you honestly expect me to bother with boxers? It's not like the first time you see me naked either."

"Okay Brucey you got me there, but it definitely is the first time I do the undressing myself. Not that I mind, you know…Just warn a guy next time, preferably before he gets a dick pretty much thrown into his face?"

Tony had no idea what was wrong with him. Usually he was the sassy one, the one who could outsmart everyone and had a retort for pretty much everything, but right now he almost felt like an awkward teenager. Even worse, he realized he'd been staring at Bruce's half naked body for way too long and his friend was raising an eyebrow at him.

"Uh, I'm fetching the first aid kit. Be right back", the billionaire added and hurried away to escape his friend's judging stare and eyebrow of impending doom. He returned a short time later with a washcloth and everything they'd need to dress the wound.

"You better let me do this myself." Bruce mumbled, taking the washcloth and kit from the inventor's hands and proceeding to get the wound cleaned first before continuing with washing the rest of the grime off. Tony did his best to keep his eyes fixed on anything that wasn't his friend, and somehow this was harder than he expected. He blamed it on his long abstinence but his body was actually reacting in the most impractical way he could imagine right now. He just hoped Bruce wouldn't notice.

"There…this is the best I can do right now. Not very good but I guess it should do the trick." Bruce's voice sounded weak, like talking cost him a lot of strength and it brought Tony's attention right back to him.

"Did you seriously just stitch up that wound yourself? Without any anesthetics? Are you mad? You should've let me call a doctor!"

"Tony I AM a doctor and I really don't want anyone but you knowing where I am. This…this place is no longer safe for me or you, for that matter."

So they were back where they stopped talking months ago. Tony sighed, running his fingers through his hair and then slowly shaking his head. This was, without a doubt, one of the hardest conversations he ever had, but this time, he promised himself, he'd not let it end the same way as last time.

"So you want to leave again, huh? I hoped…no, half expected you to come with me…after everything that happened."

"This really isn't about what I want. This is never about what I want. It's about what I need to do. Tony, you are my best friend and I really, honestly never wanted to hurt you, but I can't live in New York with you…or in California. I'm dangerous. I'm hunted and every building I destroyed, every headstone in the cemetery is a monument of the monster inside of me. I can't live like this, being surrounded by the proof of the biggest mistake I made in my life. And there's more. Tony you can't even begin to understand what you…what your friendship means to me, but being around is dangerous for me….which makes it even more dangerous for you and the entire population of New York. Please, just understand that the only way I can do good in this world is by helping those people who've been forsaken by everyone else."

The desperation in Bruce's voice was almost too much to bear for Tony. It might've been awkward to hug a guy who wasn't wearing any pants, but he really couldn't care any less at the moment. Pulling his friend in a tight embrace just felt like the right thing to do.

"Why is it dangerous for you to be with me? I thought you could handle pointy things?"

"I can…but I can't handle your alcoholism, your demanding more of me than I can give…You know, it's weird how I can't live with you but can't seem to stay away from you either."

Tony could feel his friend burying his face in the crook of his neck and he knew this wasn't what friends usually do but maybe, just maybe being Bruce's friends wasn't what he really wanted to be.

"I can work on that. We can make this work, big guy. If you can't stay in New York, that's fine, but you know, compromise is not a dirty word. Don't banish me from your life again, okay? You can go wherever you want and be the good Samaritan you are and I'll come visit you. I'm a fucking billionaire, I can follow you no matter where you are going and I'll bring a damn lab with me and we can do science together in the rainforests of Brazil if that's what you want. Just…just don't leave me alone again, okay?"

The words just spilled out of him and the inventor felt his heart skip a beat when Bruce moved away from him, but then his friend smiled and there was no bitterness there, just gratitude and something else he couldn't really make out. And then his friend just threw his arms around Tony's neck and pulled him into a fiery, bruising kiss that knocked the breath out of his lungs.


End file.
